WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama will finally give an interview to Fox News. Both he and the station are preparing for the imminent showdown.
News broke this week that the Obama administration will be reversing its policy towards Fox News. Previously the administration refused to give the channel interviews, ignored Fox reporters at press conferences, and federally detained Fox reporters whenever the President “had a case of the Mondays.”
The rivalry came to a head Tuesday when White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs and his staff started a food fight with Rupert Murdoch at a five-star restaurant in Washington D.C. After the incident the White House decided that President Obama would finally give Fox News an interview.
In preparation for the event the President is preparing himself mentally and physically. Knowing that Fox reporters will try any and every trick to make him look bad he has taken up meditation in the hopes of remaining calm and focused no matter what is said.
To improve his memory, the White House has begun a strict hypnotherapy program to give him exceptional recall for even the most minute of details. The President has also taken advanced Tai Chi, blindfolded fencing, and challenging two chess grandmasters at once while balancing the education budget.
Fox News is also preparing for the interview. Sources claim they have already started compiling their list of questions, which is to include “Were you really born in Hawaii?” “Really?” and “Really?”
Further they will ask, “Why do you hate America so much?” and “Will you admit that you’re a socialist?”
Other questions may include:
– “Are you a puppet of the New World Order?”
– “Do you know some people believe you are the Anti-Christ?”
– “Why do you ignore the will of the American people, as seen in Tea Party demonstrations and town hall meetings?”
– “Does the sight of American Values burn you like a cross to a vampire?”
– “Will you ever come clean about being a Muslim?”
– “Do you have a fatwa against the Constitution?”
– “How are we supposed to believe that you are not a Kenyan/Socialist/Fascist/Muslim/anti-Christ until you prove otherwise?”
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– GM Susan Polgar